How To Develop Discipline And Patience In Forex
Tough mission for many. However, to develop discipline and patience we first need to understand that these two are also directly linked to fear and greed.
DISCIPLINE
Discipline can and always has been sabotaged by the internal Child in us. The Child hates discipline! Wants to play, to explore, to be creative or to try new things. Too bored with things that do not move. Is constantly looking for fun, games or thrills. And Forex is an awesome playground for excitement.
Therefore, we have to be strict with our Child. Tell our Child you cannot have the fun and games at Forex! The other place you cannot have the fun is at a funeral. He or she can have all the fun elsewhere but not at Forex or the funeral. Thrilla in Forexa & Funera a la Banca!
So, get yourself to do three simple things each day. Write them on a blackboard in your office or bedroom. And if you manage to get these three things done each day for five consecutive days, buy yourself a present on the sixth day.
Do this for a month. While carrying out this mission/reward exercise you will discover it is easier for your Child to set goals and follow them too during your trading. Why will this work? Simply because our Child is a sucker for rewards. He or she will do anything if you dangle some goodies at the end of the stick.
If this doesn't do the trick, then get someone to monitor (look over the shoulders) whereby you would have to send in a short ten-line summary of your daily activities by email at the end of each evening - or risk paying a fine!
At present I am monitoring several clients and their discipline has increased ten-fold! Their Child hates paying fines. They would rather pay for the monitoring services than pay a fine.
PATIENCE
We lack patience because the "not OK" Child in you and I needs instant gratification. We need a quick fix, NOW! The fix could be anything other than winning at Forex. Trading is just a vehicle to feel good - should we win. But the vehicle could be a promotion at work, someone you fall madly in love with, or anything else that makes us feel happy or elated.
The "not OK" Child, as defined in Transactional Analysis, has been seeking instant gratification since early childhood when we first came to the erroneous conclusion that we are "not OK" or inferior. Years of being admonished or criticized lead us to feel we are not good enough so we unconsciously seek acceptance.
To be "OK" you need MONEY. Money enables you to acquire things. To eat at great restaurants, live in fancy neighborhoods - but more importantly, be accepted by others. Hence, it is more profound than you think, as this one early conclusion often governs and triggers our feelings of greed and fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear of missing the goodies, of not having enough. We always want more because these mischievous, subconscious hit and run thoughts known as Monkeys keep coming back over and over again spiking feelings you cannot control.
No matter who you are or what you do a small group of these thoughts: You want/You can't/What's going to happen?/You're going to lose, known as the Gang of Four (G4), is waiting for you and I the minute we wake up.
These thought muggers roam the dark alleys of our mind and when we get hit we spill out negative feelings and emotions. So, our decision in fighting them would depend on how badly we were clobbered in the past. The greater your suffering at the hands of these sub-intelligent thoughts the greater your motivation will be in defeating them.
Hey, didn't I say you cannot control them?
YES, WE CAN!
Each time you feel greedy just scream out loud in your head: GREED! YOU'RE GREEDY!!! This would immediately freeze the Monkey in the act.
You are at the first stage, or realization stage, when you are able to catch yourself feeling greedy by jumping the gun when all indicators are yet to show. Or find yourself overtrading, or doubling up - or simply, impatient!
Now, that is only the first stage. There are three stages: Realization / Decision /Action.
Realizing that we are always trying to get a quick fix to offset the "not OK" burden we carry with us is only a step ahead to developing discipline and patience. Next you have to make a decision. OK, so we have identified the Monkeys that have been sneaking on us and screwing us up. What are we going to do about them? If we do not decide to stop them, they will be back spiking us with those feelings of greed and fear all over again.
Hence, you want to ask yourself who's in charge. The Monkeys or you!
If you do not decide who is in control you will forever be a slave to these Monkeys. You have to make a serious decision who is the boss. The Monkeys or you!
99% of people do not even know they are slaves to their inner bullies. Imagine a man getting attacked from behind by a real physical mugger. He gets beaten badly and falls to the ground. He then gets up and staggers on. Not even turning back to see who that mugger was.
A week later he gets mugged again in that same rough neighborhood, and again walks away without turning back to identify his assailants. Is he some kind of dummy you may ask? But 99% of people who were psychologically attacked and felt frustration, revenge, stress and other deadly emotions do not know who their inner assailants are. Simply because we were NEVER taught who they are, nor how to identify or disarm them.
Now that we have decided to do something we need to transform this decision into action! Each time you feel impatient, get up and walk away from the screen. Take a shower. Make yourself a drink. Call your mother-in-law;-). Look out of the window. Take a walk. Put on your favorite CD. Volunteer to help your spouse with some chores. Do anything - but stare at your charts!
Your impatience would wither away as you focus your attention elsewhere. Imagine receiving some good news on the phone. Would you still feel impatient? Your attention would be miles away from trading! Your real objective is to feel good and there are hundreds of vehicles to take you there, apart from Forex. So, the very second impatience creeps in, shift your attention or focus elsewhere. You will regain immediate control over the Monkeys when you do this. Try it!
You may also want to make a lightning visit to the three Worlds. They are different states of mind.
The first "World" is a world of detachment where you project yourself from a distance and look back at your physical body in the room or wherever you happen to be. Imagine you are a spider on the wall, or better still, you are dead and floating on the ceiling. Then look back at yourself. Now, how important is this life that you are living, now that you are dead?
After a few moments, enter the second "World" - be here and now. Look around you as if you had just landed from Mars. Focus intently on the things you see around you as if for the first time. You are now entering the "World" of awareness. This moment is the moment where you can see, hear, and feel. You are conscious of the present. You are here and now!
Next, a quick visit to the third "World," an ocean of subconscious thoughts. Surf on a few positive ones: think of what you have and what you can do with what you have. Just think for a moment about the marvelous things you can do with what you have right now. If you are thirsty, you can drink; if you want to call someone, you can. If you desire to go see a movie, you can... The list can be a mile long, but just surfing one or two appreciative thoughts is enough to make you feel extremely good. And then, go back to the first "World"...
This round trip to the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd "Worlds" can be repeated as many times as you wish. You will be investing only a few minutes each time, but you will feel much lighter and relaxed throughout the day.
Hope this helps!
